Edima Usoro

Rules are meant to be broken; by all means break them but as your break them, remember that life is a cycle and men are in sizes so is the result for every action you take and every decision you make.

RULE 1:

Love harder than you loved last month.

RULE 2:

Don’t expect help from anyone, it will only make you lazy.

RULE 3:

Be confident even in the silliest of things you do and say.

RULE 4:

The Canadian singer, Bryan Adams says:

‘Everything I do, I do it for you…’

I say: Most things I do, I do it for me.

RULE 5:

Appreciate those who have helped you get to where you are today. Call them and say thank you.

RULE 6:

You will offend people this month. Be ready to say I’m sorry and mean it more than you meant in February.

RULE 7:

A nursery rhyme goes thus:

‘Be kind to your web-footed friends, for the duck may be somebody’s mother…’

I say: Be kind to everyone and everything you meet.

RULE 8:

My mother says:

‘Save! You know not when you need to fix your leaking roof!’

I say: Be kind to everyone and everything you meet.

RULE 9:

Giving never has to be monetary. There are other things to give: time, love, smile, ears to listen and hands to help.

RULE 10:

Hope. It will keep you alive.

 

Rome was not built in a day and the Biblical ‘Tower of Babel’ was never completed. Start with any of the rules. You may not accomplish all but don’t stop till you do one.

 

Image Credit: Mental Floss

The tale of Lagos socialite, ‘Pretty Mike’, has set social media ablaze; the man who puts his ladies on ‘chain’. Did I say chain? I meant ‘Dog Leash’. The best part is that he steps out with them to public functions. #HumanBingo.

So many people especially the women folk literally want Mike’s head; reigning curses and abuses on him like acid rain, falling in ‘Ibeno town’. And so I hear: How dare he degrade women to dogs! Who does he think he is just because he feels he has money to throw around! Would he treat his mother and sister this way… let’s just say, so much drama.

At this point, I beg to stand aside. Dear Pretty Mike, do you have enough dog leashes? I’ll be glad to supply you with more. If you ever run out of it, ‘Hola’ and I’ll be at your service.

Now, I see you huffing and puffing, blowing hot and vibrating. ‘How can she say such an evil thing, supporting such dastardly act to a fellow woman?’

PAUSE…Come! Let us reason together!

What is self- worth? Simply put it, the value you place on yourself. Now, let’s do a simple Math.

Your self- worth + Your visible (physical) self-worth= External value placed on you.

Logically, how you value yourself and let people see and know, is how they value you. I’m still not making sense? Let’s go back to ‘Pretty Mike’ and his friends.

Obviously! The girls agreed to be put on a leash so why are we fighting ‘a just cause’ when the ladies clearly look undisturbed? Life I’ve always come to know is a choice so whatever you decide is really your business. I dare not insult Pretty Mike for he only judged by the standard set.

So many of us scream FEMINISM at the top of our voice yet I ask, why blame men for everything and where we are today when we have the power to change the choices we make? Why won’t we have many more Pretty Mikes when we do not place value on ourselves? Maybe we need many more Pretty Mikes to wake us from our long slumber and start the revolution from within before we think of without.

So again I ask, ‘Dear Pretty Mike, need more leashes?’

 

Image Credit: 360Nobs

I’ve never been this excited about the start of a new year like I was when I bought my first dress with my own money.

I had saved every Naira I got as gift just to make enough money to pay for the dress after months of window shopping. At some point, the sales girl got weary of me keeping a close eye to be sure I didn’t shop lift but I cared not; for only I saw the bigger picture: Me in the dress with my hair hanging low.

Every day at the close of school, I’d take a walk to the store. Gently would I stroke the dress, careful not to crease it for the eyes of the sales girl roamed back and forth.  I’d talk to myself while admiring my dress.

‘Aniebiet’, you’ll wear this dress soon. As my money increased and the days drew near, my excitement couldn’t be contained.  Aniebiet: This dress is yours. The day came and the rest is history.

Fast forward to now, I’m going to treat the New Year as my first dress. I planned to buy it and saved towards it. I denied myself certain comforts because I needed the dress. I dreamed about wearing the dress and spoke what I wanted to see: me in it. So, I’ll plan, save, deny, dream and speak what I want to see in 2017.

 

Hello January, ARE YOU READY?

 

Image Credit: YouTube

I met a man who said he’s tired of his life. He’d been beaten and battered by the whip of life and what was left was only but death.

His child had died at birth and his wife had died in her sleep.  His brother had gone mad and his sister had turned to the streets. His business had failed and his clients had withdrawn all their money. His manager had resigned and his staff had followed suit.

His Pastor had abandoned him and his ‘Seed’ he had none to sow. His service unit had picnic and he had little to eat for he brought no money to add to the lavish picnic.

His rent had expired and his landlord was waiting impatiently to kick him out. His lands had been taken by his debtors and his clothes had been sold to feed.

This is the man I met whose entire life is a tragedy out of an epic tale. I walked away that day thankful for my own problems for they were not worth competing with one of the man’s problems. Now dear one, there’s a life for sale. Are you willing to buy?

 

Image Credit: ARP Rental Homes

How did you feel the last time a great idea came to your mind? Nothing else mattered except that idea? Fireworks went off in your head? Something shone brighter and the light bulb came on in your head? What others had to say didn’t matter? You didn’t need to think of the resources or what you needed to execute that idea? You preferred to enjoy the moment you were the smartest person in the world?

You’re not alone. Right now, about 2,000 people are having a light bulb moment and before today ends, 10,000 more will be added to that figure. It’s easy to have a light bulb moment but you should also be concerned about the after moment. WHAT NEXT? The question with a big question mark.

Do you want to keep basking in the light bulb and wait for it to go out or do you jump up and work on it? I’m afraid we live for the first so you find many of us with great ideas and no good outcome. The choice you make now is important; be ready to receive the outcome.

We need more light bulb moments but even more zeal for the driving of the moment.

 

Every day is a light bulb moment day so,

 

HAPPY LIGHT BULB DAY!

 

Image Credit: Uncyclopedia

I am dead and so are you. That careless expression on your face right now convinces me that you really are dead.  You might want to speak up for I can’t hear you through all that mumbling. You choose to grumble without hearing me out to the end. Suit yourself for your actions keep betraying you like a dead man.

I am dead and so are you. The second we looked at our neighbor with disdain, we became dead for we killed him silently in our heart.  The minute we said an unkind word to the driver who almost hit our car, we became dead for we could have spoken to him without cursing and swearing. The hour we looked past someone who needed help, we became dead for we had what it took to help selflessly. The day we told a little white lie believing no one will ever know we became dead for a lie is a lie and can never be sugar-coated.

I am dead and so are you. Last week we lost faith and hope because things didn’t go as planned.  We became dead for we forgot that we have a new week ahead of us to re-plan or start again.

I am dead and so are you but I must ask you if you enjoy being dead for tis such a simple thing to be and very hard to live. I started dying unconsciously until the grave became my home. You my dear one have a chance; another chance at life itself.

Take each day as it comes and give it your best. Never lose hope and faith for the dead have nothing to offer. I speak now so that you might live again for I need no partner in staying dead.

 

Image Credit: Flickr

I once gave up on you. I once locked the door in front of you leaving you all by yourself in the cold, not caring if the wild animals got you.

I once lay on my bed thinking of you, of all the beautiful things of life you’ll get, of all the lovely cars you’ll drive and the beautiful houses you’ll live in. I once imagined the kind of man you’ll marry: Tall, handsome and caring with highlights of love here and there.

I once got up from bed and looked at you in the mirror and all I could do was detest the sight of you. I was repulsed at who I had become and wanted to have no business with you. I once picked the stool in my room and smashed the mirror for I wanted to see no reflection of you; for all you reminded me of was pain and sorrow.

I once wrote about you when I was 20 years old. I once wrote about your beauty with hair so long and coarse at the tip, enough to graze the hand that stroke it.  I once wrote about your never fading smile; a smile that could lift even the saddest of hearts and cheer even the saddest of souls.

I once stopped writing about you for I knew not what you’ll become and I knew not if you’ll become. I once stopped talking to you because I was studying you for I wanted to understand why you have such hope for the future you know nothing about.

Today, I break the long deep silence and apologize to you for I have found the source of the problem: FEAR. I was afraid I have disappointed you not realizing you judged me not. Today, I’ll buy another mirror and each morning, I’ll smile at you for I believe in you not with doubts but with faith.

Today, I cease to war with the present me. Today, I‘ll flip to an unwritten page. I know I have been very unkind to you but dear future me, shall we start afresh again?

 

Image Credit: The Truth

I grew up hearing many stories of why people lose their sanity; some weird, some unique, some logical and others very unusual. I’ve heard stories of love gone sore, education gone ‘deep’ and fetish practices gone overboard.  I can’t fail to recall the drug related and ancestral cases.

But in all the reasons, I find myself thinking how can one be oblivious of the happenings around him yet so happy and contented in his own little paradise? The sane have a lot to learn from them for everyone has a moment of madness. That point in your life when you act silly and think that wrong is right when the truth is glaring in your face.

Oh come! Let us reason together for I saw one like me on the street. The only difference was that I had clothes on with a slightly advanced sense of reasoning. We smile the same way and soliloquize; I have friends and she has friends perhaps even more friends than I do.

Never shall I look down on her for there is only a thin line between her and me, sanity and insanity. For the weight of life can push one so bad that he or she is at either ends. One must be careful never to slip for at times there is a point of no return.

I’ve seen some slip; I’ve seen some close. Whatever the case may be, be kind to all and show love to all. Give selflessly and expect nothing back. The world needs you and me not judges and poor critiques whose only unpaid job is to make others fall.

Be wise, be you and learn from all for even the man you call “Mad” is wise after all.

 

Image Credit: YouTube