I once gave up on you. I once locked the door in front of you leaving you all by yourself in the cold, not caring if the wild animals got you.
I once lay on my bed thinking of you, of all the beautiful things of life you’ll get, of all the lovely cars you’ll drive and the beautiful houses you’ll live in. I once imagined the kind of man you’ll marry: Tall, handsome and caring with highlights of love here and there.
I once got up from bed and looked at you in the mirror and all I could do was detest the sight of you. I was repulsed at who I had become and wanted to have no business with you. I once picked the stool in my room and smashed the mirror for I wanted to see no reflection of you; for all you reminded me of was pain and sorrow.
I once wrote about you when I was 20 years old. I once wrote about your beauty with hair so long and coarse at the tip, enough to graze the hand that stroke it. I once wrote about your never fading smile; a smile that could lift even the saddest of hearts and cheer even the saddest of souls.
I once stopped writing about you for I knew not what you’ll become and I knew not if you’ll become. I once stopped talking to you because I was studying you for I wanted to understand why you have such hope for the future you know nothing about.
Today, I break the long deep silence and apologize to you for I have found the source of the problem: FEAR. I was afraid I have disappointed you not realizing you judged me not. Today, I’ll buy another mirror and each morning, I’ll smile at you for I believe in you not with doubts but with faith.
Today, I cease to war with the present me. Today, I‘ll flip to an unwritten page. I know I have been very unkind to you but dear future me, shall we start afresh again?
Image Credit: The Truth
I grew up hearing many stories of why people lose their sanity; some weird, some unique, some logical and others very unusual. I’ve heard stories of love gone sore, education gone ‘deep’ and fetish practices gone overboard. I can’t fail to recall the drug related and ancestral cases.
But in all the reasons, I find myself thinking how can one be oblivious of the happenings around him yet so happy and contented in his own little paradise? The sane have a lot to learn from them for everyone has a moment of madness. That point in your life when you act silly and think that wrong is right when the truth is glaring in your face.
Oh come! Let us reason together for I saw one like me on the street. The only difference was that I had clothes on with a slightly advanced sense of reasoning. We smile the same way and soliloquize; I have friends and she has friends perhaps even more friends than I do.
Never shall I look down on her for there is only a thin line between her and me, sanity and insanity. For the weight of life can push one so bad that he or she is at either ends. One must be careful never to slip for at times there is a point of no return.
I’ve seen some slip; I’ve seen some close. Whatever the case may be, be kind to all and show love to all. Give selflessly and expect nothing back. The world needs you and me not judges and poor critiques whose only unpaid job is to make others fall.
Be wise, be you and learn from all for even the man you call “Mad” is wise after all.
Image Credit: YouTube
Today is a day I forgive;
Forgive all the people that hurt me.
Today is a day I forget;
Forget all the hateful things I uttered in annoyance.
Today is a day I make mistakes;
Mistakes that I’ll have no regrets.
Today is a day I take risks;
Risks that the end bothers me not.
Today is a day I love again;
Again I’ll love, even when unreturned.
Today is a day I dance a dance;
A dance with steps rather unknown.
Today is a day I look fear in the eye;
The eye that made me shy away from things.
Today is a day I unmask the mask;
The mask that shielded the world from me.
Today is a day I look forward to;
Forward to a certain calm and peace.
Today is a day I let go and let out;
Out with all the steam and smoke.
Image Credit: Desiring God
I saw a man in a forest yesterday. He wielded an axe. With this axe, he struggled to fell a tree. Tree to tree he went, looking for a small width tree, one that he could easily chop with his axe. Having found none, he flung his axe on his shoulder with the sharp end facing the ground and walked away.
I saw a woman on a road yesterday. She had a baby on her back. The sun was at its peak determined not to spare anything in its path. She walked around looking for some form of covering if not to shield herself, the baby on her back. None was available for the harsh sun penetrated every form of shade. Having found none, she stood in the open with her baby on her back.
I saw some teenagers in a school yesterday. Lectures were long over and they stayed back in a class to study. They read and read and read but no understanding came. They went in search of the lecturers but found them not. Having not found them, they closed their books and went home and on the day of reckoning, failure awaited them.
Behold the harsh tales of months gone by; of efforts wasted and courage lost. How painful it is to put in all your time and energy, like the man who tried to fell a tree and yet no result to show for it.
How painful it is that life is unfair and denies you of certain privileges and fortunes like the woman with the baby on her back for if she had an umbrella or maybe a car, the sun and she just might be friends.
How painful it is that you want something so bad, give up certain comforts for it, put in basically all you have just to make it work and at the end you wish you didn’t even bother like the teenagers who failed their exam.
The harsh truth you must accept is that life can never be a smooth sail. Just like the tide, you must experience highs and lows, crashes and turbulence but one thing you forget about is the calm. Let go of the past failures, let go of the past months and focus on today for each new day should be greeted with fresh hope and fresh determination. May the months ahead be kind to you.
Image Credit: YouTube