I once gave up on you. I once locked the door in front of you leaving you all by yourself in the cold, not caring if the wild animals got you.

I once lay on my bed thinking of you, of all the beautiful things of life you’ll get, of all the lovely cars you’ll drive and the beautiful houses you’ll live in. I once imagined the kind of man you’ll marry: Tall, handsome and caring with highlights of love here and there.

I once got up from bed and looked at you in the mirror and all I could do was detest the sight of you. I was repulsed at who I had become and wanted to have no business with you. I once picked the stool in my room and smashed the mirror for I wanted to see no reflection of you; for all you reminded me of was pain and sorrow.

I once wrote about you when I was 20 years old. I once wrote about your beauty with hair so long and coarse at the tip, enough to graze the hand that stroke it.  I once wrote about your never fading smile; a smile that could lift even the saddest of hearts and cheer even the saddest of souls.

I once stopped writing about you for I knew not what you’ll become and I knew not if you’ll become. I once stopped talking to you because I was studying you for I wanted to understand why you have such hope for the future you know nothing about.

Today, I break the long deep silence and apologize to you for I have found the source of the problem: FEAR. I was afraid I have disappointed you not realizing you judged me not. Today, I’ll buy another mirror and each morning, I’ll smile at you for I believe in you not with doubts but with faith.

Today, I cease to war with the present me. Today, I‘ll flip to an unwritten page. I know I have been very unkind to you but dear future me, shall we start afresh again?


Image Credit: The Truth

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