Edima Usoro

My dad always said: Edy, life will get in the way. In fact, it’s supposed to get in the way. It’s doing its job. But it’s what you do when it does get in the way. It’s how you act, react and the steps you take.

It’s how you plan, re-plan and re-fire. It is how you fit the little broken pieces together. It is how you clean up after the mess. It is how you gather after it scattered. It is how you restore calm after the wind.

My dad always said: Edy, life must get in the way. In fact, it’s supposed to get in the way. It’s doing its job. But, it is the decision you make when it does get in the way. It is what you say, how you say and when you say it.

It is what you allow, what you tolerate and what you compromise. It is who you meet, where you meet, when you meet and how much power you give them over your life.

My dad always said: Edy, life will get in the way. In fact, it’s supposed to get in the way. It’s doing its job. But when life happens, don’t forget to smile, to be happy and to be thankful for all these play major roles in life’s cycle.

Joy comes from the inside and radiates outwards. Joy is what you make of every situation, every mistake and every challenge life throws at you. Now when life happens because it will happen, let joy happen too. Stay joyful and always wear a smile because you’re never fully dressed without a smile.

Image Credit: RPG Knights

“This year is too fast Didi. March is just something else. When did we say Happy New Year? Soon it will be Merry Christmas again”. “You forgot Easter in between and other holidays”, I chipped in. “That’s exactly what I’m saying Didi; you get the point and I haven’t even started doing all I said I’ll do this year”. “Sit down Edikan”, I said as I pulled a kitchen chair close to me and Edikan sat.

“Let me tell you a familiar story”.

“You know the ant?” “Who doesn’t know an ant?”.

“Keep being the Nigerian you are and answer question with question but sha hear my story”, I said jokingly. “The ant is wise. It knows a time might come when gathering food might be hard. What does it do? It toils day and night getting food, storing it and giving mother ant. It is not hibernating like some animals or waiting for an unfortunate prey. It sends its scouts to find the next food, ready to work hard and take”.

“What are you saying Didi, I’m lost?” Edikan interrupted. “What I’m saying is: Start now, start again. Plan and take action immediately. Don’t wait for opportunities to fall at your feet for it may not so go out and take it. A plan without execution is a wasted plan. Be prepared for the year will keep running because you’ve got no running shoes to run with it”.

“Edikan be like the ant or be better”.

With this, Edikan nodded slowly and got up. “I think I need fresh air”, she said.

Image Credit: Doowans

‘Oh my God! Gloria, why did I even agree to follow you today? Shey I would have jejeli stayed in my house. I would have been sleeping and snoring now; not stuck in this car with you. Abi, can I come down?’…

I had planned from the word ‘GO’ to make this trip to the bridal shop uncomfortable for Imaikop. She’s been crying for change and giving me lecture upon lecture on what is wrong with the country yet she is not ready to make a move on her end.

‘Imaikop, the sooner you realize we’re in this car together, heading to Wuse 2, the better for you. You see the problem with you, you keep complaining. Your prayer point during fasting I’m sure is the same one you’ve been praying all your life for Nigeria. I’m not saying it is bad oh! All I am saying is that we as Christians, we as Nigerians, need to do more than pray, hope, complain, fast and complain some more.’

‘Gloria, the truth is that the system is corrupt. Come 2019, it will be rigged. The God Fathers of the country will place who they want and the masses will keep suffering. Then, they will go to the North and have people come out en masse, even underage kids, to vote. Please just leave me alone mbok. I can’t shout. If I get money like this eh, it’s to get visa and miss from Nigeria.’

‘Imaikop, it’s not enough to think rigging comes only from the North. Who says it wasn’t done in other states last election? Besides, why are we still dwelling on the past when the future is ahead of us to determine to an extent? Why don’t we all just give it a shot again? If we all run and leave Nigeria, who will fix it?’

As we alighted from the car, Imaikop paused in her steps. ‘What do you want from me Gloria?’ she asked. ‘Imaikop all I want from you is to go and get your voters card and vote when the time comes then you just might get the change you desire.’ ‘Yes ma, I’ve heard you. Can we go in now? I hope they have fine gowns in this shop.’ ‘I’m sure they do’, I replied, secretly thankful that one vote has been secured for 2019.

What do I want from you? A voter’s card. What do I want from you? Your vote.

Image Credit: Daily Post Nigeria

A society without rules will be one void of law and order. I’ve tried several times to get the words of my secondary school teacher out of my head but no, it’s stuck like a song on repeat; maybe because there are elements of truth in it. May I modify this a little?

Rules will always be broken because it operates on the same principles as ‘Plan’. Rules are broken and plans fail but that shouldn’t stop us because they serve as a guide. If they don’t work out we will still try, for imagine if they did work out?

The New Year is here, see if these help.

RULE 1: PLAN

Plans may not go as planned. Still, plan. It will serve as a guide. Just keep it short and simple for each goal or task. Be realistic.

RULE 2: FORGIVE

Start by forgiving yourself. You most likely made avoidable mistakes in 2017. Hey! This is a brand New Year, one you’ve never walked in. so let go and start again. Let go of business partners who failed you. Let go of family members and friends who betrayed you. You’ll meet new people this year who will make you feel special and valuable.

RULE 3: BE OPEN-MINDED

Don’t be quick to sign off ideas and people. Be open to receiving, then you can sieve what’s not useful.

RULE 4: DON’T BURN BRIDGES

You never know when you need something or someone. Perhaps from that person you tag bad and evil. Maintain a cordial relationship even when you feel you’re not treated right. Close the door gently behind you, so it doesn’t jam just in case you need to go back into the room or forgot your bag inside.

RULE 5: LOVE

Love has many meanings. Your love should be kind, tolerant, giving, helpful and real. You don’t hate yourself; don’t hate anyone. A friend’s mum once told me that the word ‘hate’ is too strong to be used in reference to people. Remove ‘hate’ from your vocabulary and mind. Let love rule as you rule your world.

HAPPY NEW YEAR FRIEND!!

IMAGE CREDIT: Cherokee.lib.ia.us

Plans are planned to fail but why do we still plan? I planned to post on Christmas Day but behold! Two days after! Better late than never right?

So where do I start from? ‘Start from the middle’, my friend Mfon always says. So the middle it shall be.

Christmas as a child meant so many things to me: food, gifts, cousins, showing off new dresses and more food. That was perfect for I thought like a child.

When I got a job as an adult, the meaning changed. I started appreciating Christmas more, maybe because I was far from family and the thought of being alone was scary.

I remember my first Christmas alone. I closed from work the morning of Christmas; got home and fought back tears as I bore the unpleasant task of calling all I cared about.

The next year’s Christmas was a bit better. A sweet lady who will become family soon stepped into to save the day! Fast forward to this year…

My work schedule had changed which meant partial or no Christmas at all for me. I was a little sad; ok maybe not a little but I had to embrace reality. I’ll not bore you with the ‘party jollof’ that eventually came my way thanks to a great fashion designer: Lilypop. I’ll tell you about some things I learnt from Christmas this year.

1. Giving:

When you give anything you give, let it be from your heart and ask nothing in return.

2.  Passion:

Passion is the only driver that can make you do things you may not want to but have to especially if someone else will lose terribly because you didn’t do what you had to do. Be passionate.

3. Love:

Love isn’t limited to your friends and family. Love should be spread to all especially foes and those you think are undeserving.

Now that’s how I spent Christmas as I look forward to a NEW YEAR.

MERRY CHRISTMAS FRIEND!!!!

Image Credit: Colour Box